Surviving the 24th Century

Here is a little thing my brother put together for a class, don’t know what its about.  What I do know is that its hilarious.  Now that I think about it, this probably has to do with Fahrenheit 451.

How to Survive in the 24th Century: A Simple Guide for the Simple Man

1. Don’t Read.  Ever.

This has become Federal Law for a reason, trust me its a good one.  Nobody needs to read because nobody needs to be offended.

2. Learn to Drive Very Fast.

People nowadays don’t care about your safety.  Going to hit that dog?  Go for it, decause the guy behind you will push that pedal through the floor if you don’t.

3.  Learn to Love Fire.

Fire is the all-cleansing force that purifies all of society’s ills and shortcomings in little to no time.  It’ll burn away the ammunition for those stuck-up book readers.

4.  Don’t Ever Question Things.

You probably won’t understand anything too complicated about the world, so don’t try.  Trying to measure the world and reason it out is just a bad idea.

5.  Thinking Less = Having More Fun.

As stated above, don’t try to measure or reason out the world.  You’ll have more fun that way.  It doesn’t matter what’s going on in front of you, just so long as you get a bit of a tic when it happens.

6.  Knowledge is for Losers.

The more you know about the world, the uglier it seems to be.  Only idiots will try to learn anything more complicated than setting up a television.

7.  Learn to Love Sensory Information.

Just because it doesn’t have real meaning doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love it.  Who needs to be deep when you get a jolt of pleasure from what you are doing?

8.  The Government is Always Right.

Like I said before, don’t question anything, and it goes double for the government.  They always do the right thing in the right way, so what does it matter?

9.  Don’t Offend People.

Even if you have to be dull as a rock, its much better not to offend people.  Its much better to be the one everyone likes than to be interesting or unique.

10.  Always get to the Point.

Who wants to waste twenty minutes of their life listening to you drabble on about details?  No one cares about the who and how, just the what.  Its the end of the journey that counts, not the journey itself!

11.  Never Stand Idle.

Even if it is completely pointless, always be doing something.  Work with your hands, feet, anything but your mind.  Who cares about down time?  What would you need it for anyway?  Certainly not reading!

Obviously satire, and pretty funny if you ask me.

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